(this is a very old reflective. i’m in a much better state now. but it’s an important one

in my development in life and with the word. )


i read bukowski

with a flavor of a bum –

he taught me about life.

traveled into marriage,

and exited five years later

into the divorce

hall of fame.

moved back home

for a couple of years,

then moved on to a place

where i had a bedroom,

and shared a bathroom

with another couple

who had the other bedroom

on the second floor.

we shared the kitchen

that was on the first floor

with the couple

that owned the house.

the only thing

i had nice at that point.

was a car.

i worked second shift,

and after work,

the bar was the place to go.

i drank every night,

what else was there to do?

i didn’t live with my kids –

there wasn’t any responsibility

to go home to.

i would get my kids

on occasion –

they wouldn’t want to go back.

life became a revolver

between work, drinking and absorbing bad situations.

these deadly forces

worked together

and labored into emptiness.

sometimes you got

to spill your guts

once in a while.


8 responses to “UNDER A WING

  1. A sad truth. Ya. Sometimes you do hav to just spill your guts. It’s a good write, even if it’s not pretty. I hate pretty writing. Therefore, I’m a fan.

    • certainly there is nothing wrong with spilling your guts. some may think weakness but i know it’s the other way around. see sometimes one can write the not so pretty stuff and then write the pretty stuff to show how balanced one is. i am also a fan of the tough stuff too. having some coffee and heading to the castle soon. things are great:) !!

    • yes it sure can. there is one i’ve learned and discovered over time. when one is romantic it can set one up for failure time after time. why one might ask? it’s because going through the reality of getting to the romance stage often is the hardest part. one has to appreciate the slowness of getting there. it’s what i call “savor the flavor.”

  2. I really like this. It shows the grind that life can sometimes be, but the way it’s reflecting on the period shows — although the poem doesn’t state it — that that period was important and that you came through it stronger. I like how it stays very matter of fact so that it doesn’t sound like your wallowing in self pity. That is very Bukowski-ish, because many of his poems also had that quality.

    • thanks lora, i did my best not to get to stuck on self pity. i guess all one has to do is pull the imagery out from around the pity. it’s certainly an old piece that dealt with what was going on 20 years ago. the piece itself is about 10 years old. nice to also see that you see buk flavored in it.

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