INTELLECTUAL BATH

Here I turn on the faucet
Where the words
Get wet and begin to bubble
With a romantic binge
That makes it feel all
Too erotic.
Together, it stimulates
And caresses,
Until it becomes
Like the cast of
Two lovers in a movie part
When bodies come together
In the water

Rubbing down each other
With such a focus
That leads one to believe-
It’s great when words
Can create so much excitement
That has a *get laid* quality
All of its own.

ABANDONED

a young boy,
around 8 years-old
went to the library
and would look
through the shelves
for something to read.
after picking a book
with smaller print
and signing it out,
he discovered
that bigger words
suited him more than
reading cat in the hat
and became a follower.
that price-
you can read it
in his eyes.

A VISUAL STRAIGHT OUT OF THE SOUL

during the time
my brother and i
lived with our aunt n uncle
and their family
when our parents
were in the divorce process in the early 70’s,
our mom n our two younger sisters
lived with her.
at some point,
our mother met another man
and she got pregnant.
that man left her high n dry.
mom eventually spiraled
into another nervous breakdown.
she put my sisters
in foster care.
baby christine stayed somewhere in town for a time.
mom had to go to warren
once again to the state psychiatric hospital
and lost all of her possessions.
baby christine was adopted,
and now would be in her forties.
it’s a sensitive area
no matter how one looks at it.
our mom didn’t abandon baby christine,
or my other two sisters –
she completely fell apart.
all we have of baby christine
is a picture of our mom holding her.

A HUMANITY FLYER

the stigma
attached to the mentally ill
is purely unfair,
whether it be
those of the homeless,
or those in prison
that had no indication
whatsoever that they were ill,
or never properly diagnosed,
and sometimes not at all.
even worse yet,
let out of the hospital
before it was time
to either commit suicide,
or harm others
without knowing why
when not in control.
other times,
it’s simply not knowing
the hospital protocol
to get admitted,
by not saying,
“i’m going to slash my wrists,”
or that, “i going to really hurt someone.”
somebody has to speak for them.
their is a lot of blame
that can be passed around.
however one can be
highly sensitive and be acute
to the surroundings.
a person that feels
in greater proportion
than the majority of the populace
just absorbs all that negativity
which can mimic symptoms
of the mentally ill.
some of us writers
are saved by our creativity.

THE FEVER

it is here –
i find you
hot on my forehead.
words that sit here
like beads of sweat
illuminate in the light.
when they drip –
cut like razors
through the air
and land upon the flesh.
the power source flows
to my wrists.
these fingertips in steady drips,
leave the page
with an image
to really soak thoroughly
into the poem,
induced by the mercury
on the rise
out of these veins.

IN THE VEINS

poetry is a drug
to keep me high.
when in need of a dose
to feed this craving,
i go to the dealers
selling their best stuff.
after the buys,
i go home
to feel their lines like braille
for the beautiful flow
of imagery to make you feel
my
need to write.

SILENT SCREAM OUT OF THE DIARY (REVISED VERSION)

this particular piece has a plot behind it for something on a larger scale as in for novel or screenplay. it’s the inception of it all behind the scenes. this is the key cog.

*********

it’s another silent night

in a get all out social

of recent posts.

it’s a more than a teaser

coming out of a papermill hollow

out of this northwestern pa town.

it’s a behind the scenes

of intrusive behaviors

to bring about muscles

in a different kind of way.

this wind scorpion,

it’s fingers –

like spider legs,

work the keyboard

with an obsessive compulsive

post traumatic stress disorder

in a mr. quiet vengeance

in a bring about resurrection.

don’t be afraid

if it’s a serial killer –

it’s only for the die-hard horror society.

TEN MINUTE THEURAPUTIC SESSION

I remember the time
my dad, brother and i
went to go to see my mother
in warren pa
at the state psychiatric hospital.
my brother was about 11
and i was about 12.
i am the oldest of the siblings.
i took away a lot of visuals
that day after i left.
i learned early on
to retreat from anything
that was difficult to swallow.
my mother struggled off and on
with her bi-polar condition.
i suppose i had been in my forties,
and my sister had to forcibly
get her entered in the hospital.
my sisters were the overseers,
and i had been informed
she was there.
i wasn’t strong enough
to tackle such a thing.
i went to go to see her
that particular night.
let me tell ya,
she was the extreme extrovert.
that woman flatly could talk.
when her condition
would flair up,
she’d be in an extreme manic mode.
her conversation
was so fast,
but yet it seemed
as if she had lived
on the streets.
i teared up that night.
she never knew i had,
and after i left
while driving home,
the tears started to flow.
some think that when you become and adult,
you just grab and eraser
and erase your childhood completely away.
i haven’t been able to do that
on either front.
it would just be nice
if someone could really identify
how things were for me.

Highly Informative Article

sometimes i get frustrated in explaining how i am as a person. this is the way i was as a kid and no one knew it.
**********
A highly sensitive child is one of the fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything. This makes them quick to grasp subtle changes, prefer to reflect deeply before acting, and generally behave conscientiously. They are also easily overwhelmed by high levels of stimulation, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others. Because children are a blend of a number of temperament traits, some HSCs are fairly difficult–active, emotionally intense, demanding, and persistent–while others are calm, turned inward, and almost too easy to raise except when they are expected to join a group of children they do not know. But outspoken and fussy or reserved and obedient, all HSCs are sensitive to their emotional and physical environment.

Is my child highly sensitive?
One way to know is to complete the online questionnaire ‘Is Your Child Highly Sensitive?‘, which also provides a good sense of what is meant by a “highly sensitive child.” The items come from a longer list given to over a hundred parents and then statistically selected to best identify HSCs. It is one way to know if a child is highly sensitive, but not always accurate for a given child. Another way to know is to read more about the trait and decide for yourself.

So, what now?
First, appreciate that this is a wonderful trait. It is no illness or syndrome. Nor is it something new I made up or “just discovered.” It is an inborn temperament or style that is found in about twenty percent of children and of nearly all animals. Anything so persistent is not abnormal. It represents a strategy of taking everything into account before acting (the other, more common innate strategy is to act quickly and be first, then think later). The trait serves an important purpose for the individual sensitive person and for the larger society–for example, sensitive persons sense danger and see the consequences of an action before others do.

Unfortunately, the trait has been somewhat misunderstood in our culture, so that most psychologists and parents tend to see only one aspect of some sensitive children and call this trait shyness, inhibitedness, fearfulness, fussiness, or “hyper” sensitivity. If one could see inside the mind of a sensitive child, however, one would learn the whole story of what is going on–creativity, intuition, surprising wisdom, empathy for others…

But, for all of that to blossom, they absolutely must be raised with understanding. Otherwise, as adults they are prone to depression, anxiety, and shyness.

So, the second “what now” might be to read The Highly Sensitive Child. I wrote this book because so many adults were telling me that their childhoods were excruciatingly difficult, even when their parents had the best intentions, because no one knew how to raise them. Parents and teachers told them there were “too sensitive” or “too shy” or “too intense.” They tried to change and could not, and so felt increasingly isolated or ashamed. My hope is to spare some children such unnecessary suffering and the world the waste of so much talent, because HSCs have a tremendous amount to offer the world. But they do need special handling. They need to be appreciated, to have their special needs and sometimes intense reactions and behaviors understood, and, when correction is needed, they need to be handled with special care so that they do not become anxious or ashamed of their failure.

This book is rooted in years of my experience as a psychotherapist and consultant to HSPs and parents of HSCs, plus interviews with parents, teachers, and HSCs themselves for the book. Then there are my experiences from my fumbling efforts to raise an HSC before I knew what that was. And there’s what I know from having been an HSC myself.

Again, few parents and teachers understand this trait-–and as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as “problem children” (and in some cases, misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder). But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no more prone to problems than nonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, unusually well-adjusted and creative adults.